The Long Road Ahead

So where do I begin? This year has been the strangest year in that it has been quick in terms of the time going by & slow in that time feels like it jumps ahead. At least to me, time didn’t have much meaning this year.

My days went by relatively quickly, I never found myself looking at my phone or clock. My only frames of reference were how bright it was outside & the colour of the sky. Now there were times when I had my calendar full and still never managed to check the time, because everything blended together. And that’s not to say all of 2021 was like this. I’m positive there were days that had the opposite effect or feeling to me, but in general, when I look back at this year, my general feeling was that it went quickly.

Covid: a lesson of trust

Speaking of the slowness of time, the main cause or factor for this has been COVID-19. This virus has been responsible for lockdowns, riots, fights, breakups, breakdowns. Whether you like it or not, we’ve had to do our best with our limited capabilities.

In terms of myself, it hasn’t been as bad. I decided to trust the science and government officials behind it, because I was scared for myself, my friends & my family. We got vaccinated & chose to wear masks, social distance and sanitise our hands. I truly had to rely on others and hope they thought similarly to me. (Thank you to those who do & continue to do this. Following these rules allowed me to see my friends in person, instead of over a screen, to which many grateful conversations were had, and also my love for hot chocolate emerged.

Health: the ever lengthy rollercoaster

Walking:

One of, if not my most exciting achievements was walking… that’s it. Well, maybe not all of it was considered just walking. I remember when I was in physiotherapy after my stroke. I learned about a concept called “Gait”, which simply means the pattern of movements your limbs make when in movement, such as the way your knees point when walking. 

Anyway, to cut into this, my problem often was that my left side doesn’t function 100% of the time, especially when I walk. Don’t get me wrong, I can walk, but before it would always cause pain in my left hip, I would have to take a rest for 20-30 mins. After letting the pain die down, I thought this was just natural and also a factor that I’d have to overcome in time. After all, it was persistent throughout my life from the hospital, and there were other factors that I believe are exacerbating that, such as my weight and fatigue.

But when I tell you that my discovery changed all that, you might not believe me. Hell, I didn’t. At first, I thought it was a placebo effect, you might not even think it possible, but a general pair of trainers was the solution after a helpful chat with a carer who had a hip replacement after her doctor recommended shoes to correct that issue. After I heard that, a bell went off in my head and I started to research which shoes would be appropriate for my issue. This led me to a new balance, and ironically they gave me a new balance.

It was mind-blowing how well my balance improved. I would compare it to before my stroke, where things that would be a hindrance, like the shape of the ground, if certain slopes or curves in the ground would cause me to slow down or maybe find the easy (but longer) path.

The final issue it fixed was the pain, fatigue, soreness that came before. I felt none of that, and still to this day I feel none of it. I feel like I’m a new person. It felt dreamlike in the first few days because of how different everything felt, so this coincided perfectly with the warm summer weather. So I got out and met friends, walked in the summer sun, and all-around had a great time.

Accomplishments: surprising twists & turns

In the process of trying to improve upon me, I took myself to task, set goals, tried to cut things. But as you might know, I failed in those things, so I’m going to go through things.

Dieting:

I started tracking my intake via MyFitnessPal, an app BTW, I’d recommend it. In the course of 4-5 months, I tracked everything in terms of food in terms of myself. I often felt lethargic & because of that, I couldn’t muster up much motivation. So after 2 weeks of serious & honest food tracking of my habits & times when I eat, I found my diet consisted of mostly high fried & saturated fat food, usually followed by some form of a sugary snack, and always, always followed by a Pepsi max bottle.

So I made the effort to limit the food, and after researching foods that are “filling, energy, nutrient-dense” and easy to cook with one hand, I settled this might be boring, but it settled on high protein foods such as eggs, chicken, tuna, salmon. I did try vegetables, but my issue with these is a problem to cook, especially with one hand. Although it could also be the layout of my kitchen and not only that, it would be a chance to try cooking without the thought of giving up and taking the easy way out, which was takeout. But as it turns out, I maybe have issues in my digestion of carbs, because even though I managed to achieve this shift in my food, my weight loss has been halted, or at least it feels halted, but I guess I’ll find out when I get the opportunity.

But it was working, especially through that heatwave summer. I was addicted to watermelon, tubs & tubs every couple of days. This was like the perfect food for me.

Eating habits:

When I tracked my food intake, it gave me insight into what I eat & why I eat, and that brutal honesty with myself didn’t help at first. In fact, I’d even say it spurred on those habits at first, but after weeks of battling these feelings where it was on/off again like a bad relationship literally! 

Eventually, something flipped in me. I started not thinking about snacking as much. This was surprising to me, but I went with it now. This was not to say I didn’t want to, but rather that I was more conscious of my thoughts & feelings toward those foods. Something that I’m sure you’ve heard before, but for me, bad food is a comfort mechanism, one of which feels bad for me to ignore nowadays. It’s more like an acknowledgement of that feeling, but I don’t let it get out of hand. I still buy those things not as often or in the same quantity.

My final jewel in my crown was that I managed to get rid of sugary drinks completely, and my habit of drinking Pepsi Max every day is a thing of the past. I now live on 3 litres of diluted juice/water a day. This was something that started during the summer. When that heatwave happened, it started gently at 1.5 litres a day, but when I saw that I was drinking twice that on hot days, so I didn’t consider it a want so much as a need.

Journaling:

So this was something I’ve tried on & off for a couple of years, but I started in a smaller way in December of 2020. I hated the idea of writing. I think my life is boring, so boring. In fact, my own brain couldn’t even find a way to spin it so I could write something, anything down. So I watched a video on tracking your mood, and the guy mentioned it’s important to track your baseline happiness day-to-day and figure out what has upset & annoyed you to figure out the problem. It’s also nice to look at how your mood improves on a daily basis. The app is called Daylio on your phone’s respective store. You can also learn more at https://daylio.net/ 

Eventually, as the months went on, I decided to take up a proper journal. However, as someone who I’d say was/still clueless about introspection, I needed something that could prompt me to think about those thoughts. I eventually stumbled across the Mindjournal, which is marketed as a journal for men. Now I’m not going to get into the topic of men’s mental health in this post, but as a “man”, it helped me consider aspects of myself that I didn’t think about. In short, I’d recommend you can find the journal from the following website:https://www.mindjournals.com/

Mental health:

One thing i’ve noticed since making changes to what i eat & how active i am, my baseline happiness has gone up. Noticeably up my days, even when I’m bored, I am much happier having a proper sleep schedule & being somewhat active day to day.

To Wrap-up

This year, I’m looking to continue to work on myself to see where I get in terms of improvement. i also know I will try making a podcast this year. It will be scuffed but I want to learn & chat. But one thing is certain I will make this year better than the last.